“Mama come home?” he would whisper.

I’d stroke his soft blonde hair and say, “Soon, baby. Soon.”

But I didn’t believe my own words anymore. The terror was so constant it felt like a heavy stone sitting on my chest. I would lie awake at three in the morning, imagining the worst things a mother and grandmother could imagine. What if someone hurt my little girl? What if she was scared? What if I never saw her again?