The moment those words left his mouth, my marriage died. Not with a bang, but with a quiet, final snap deep inside my chest. I had survived an IED blast outside Kandahar, had stitched up a fellow soldier’s wounds in the back of a Black Hawk, had sat through endless debriefings where men questioned my judgment simply because I was a woman. This man, who I had loved and supported, had just told me to obey.